Hyperlocal news about Melbourne's first suburb: Fitzroy 3065

Exxopolis at the Summersalt festival

You have only until Sunday to enjoy walking though the inside of a colour saturated inflatable structure called Exxopolis, which is part of the inaugural Summersalt festival and is located in the ACCA forcourt in South Melbourne. It’s like being inside a bouncy castle but without the bouncing and with visual rather than kinetic overload. It’s mildly warm and humid inside too so a lie down is quite inviting.

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Majority cafe has closed

Open a cafe in Fitzroy they said. It will be easy they said. Once the hipsters have paid off their tattoos they spend the rest of their money on all day breakfast. If only it was that simple. I’m no expert but it’s obvious that, for a cafe to be profitable, it has to be mostly full most of the time.

Majority cafe on Kerr St, just off Brunswick St, was mostly empty most of the time and, as predicted, it has failed and closed. The operators were not aware of how amateurish they were and the service was terrible. It lasted only about six months. I thought it looked abandoned just before Christmas but now it’s been confirmed the space will become a gin bar.

It’s another example of the premise I have repeatedly referred to: namely that if the aesthetics of an operator (and subsequently their venue) are less sophisticated than those of the customers then the venue will quickly fail. I’m sure you fondly remember Ta-co’s choc shock cafe on Brunswick St. No? Of course not. No one ever went in there because it looked awfully suburban.

Fitzroy locals don’t want suburban. Suburbans leave the banality of suburbia to visit the inner city for some style and culture. They don’t want to find suburban aesthetics here either. They’re looking for something more exotic or quixotic. Suburban aesthetics in an urban environment fail to meet the needs of the two major audiences. Why is this so hard for some operators to understand?


pink Capri

This horrendous pink Ford Capri has been abandoned on Fitzroy St around Hanover St. The plates have been removed. I’d be mortally embarrassed to admit ownership if it was mine too. And it has helpfully been annotated with a hashtag for the Instagrammers.