The Easter long weekend in Beechworth offered many indulgences and amusements. First, in a town full of Ned Kelly references, Ned flouncing at tennis in what looks like a nappy had the girlfriend and I laughing hysterically on the side of the road.

Have you wondered why hotels fold down the edges of the toilet paper? Me too. What secret message are they trying to communicate? Why can’t they leave it alone? The girlfriend decided that toilet paper could be a two way communications channel, so we thanked Freeman on Ford, a 5 star B&B, in what seemed to be the most appropriate way.

Freeman on Ford is an indulgent place to stay. The heated outdoor pool is welcoming even in the autumn and the rooms are lovely. The digital TV reception is good and there’s wifi. Unfortunately the coffee their machine makes is terrible but they also provide ground coffee and a plunger that should keep you conscious until the Cellar Door Wine Store and cafe opens to give you a Melbourne quality coffee.

They have a large Ned Kelly statue in their front entrance. From some angles it looks like he’s wanking.

If you are levitating and have no feet you’re likely to be bad tempered and want to yell at the dog.

The ‘wild women moan’ ute.

A book at a second hand stall.

A plaque in the historical precinct caught my eye. My editor’s eye. Note the typo of ‘procector’. Oops.